Well It's been nearly a year since my last entry.... shameful I know... but no one seemed to miss me too much, was hoping for a "Take That" esque phone line for devastated fans... oh well.. I think I'll survive. Well over the past year thinks have changed... most important first, I've bought my first Call of Duty (COD4) and its awesome, I've started to enjoy photography and bought an old Canon S3 IS, I've got a new job, and I've added Lightbox to my website, go have a look... i went Lightbox crazy...... I've got a couple more weeks left till I start my new job, very excited.... Have a good day people.
Whats new
Well It's been nearly a year since my last entry.... shameful I know... but no one seemed to miss me too much, was hoping for a "Take That" esque phone line for devastated fans... oh well.. I think I'll survive. Well over the past year thinks have changed... most important first, I've bought my first Call of Duty (COD4) and its awesome, I've started to enjoy photography and bought an old Canon S3 IS, I've got a new job, and I've added Lightbox to my website, go have a look... i went Lightbox crazy...... I've got a couple more weeks left till I start my new job, very excited.... Have a good day people.
Fight Night Champ
I finally became fight night champ!!! After beating my arch enemy I forget his name, but he really pi**ed me off, as he slapped me about in the press conference. I love this game, actually it’s up there with Pro-Evo, but with the Fight Night 4 rumoured to be coming out in the near future, I can’t help but wonder about the improvement that could be made.
The first improvement was to bring back the ranking system, instead of a popularity based system. This sucks, and I don’t understand why on earth they thought it would improve the Fight Night 2 game. More real fighters, whether they are current fighters or legends like Joe Louise, Rocky Marciano, Floyd Patterson, Tyson.. I know he may possibly have a few screws loose, and may well be a sexually predator, however he was a great boxer.
The 1 thing that annoys me about FNR3, is that it attempts and succeeds at creating realistic game play, the analogue controls simulate as close as possible the fighting experience, however they contradict themselves by creating an unrealistic gaming environment. By that I mean, hardly any pro fighters, I even forgot my arch arch rival's name... no if Tyson had beef with me.. I definately woudn't forget his name. Also no real belts, WBO,WBA, Commonwealth etc… lest we forget EA’s slogan, “If it’s in the Game… it’s in the game.”
Keyboard Vrs Controller
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1 comments
Sony have announced keyboard and mouse connectivity straight out of the box. Bold move, for a console. Some anti Sony, would slag them off saying this is an arogant move to try and redevelop perfection.. that is the video games console.
Consoles have always had controllers so why change the winning formular. This maybe Sony's attempt to chip away at Microsofts massive PC gaming market, and why not, competition is healthy. There must be millions of PC gamers who do very little with there pc besides play video games, well maybe watch a movie, use it as a file server, etc.
Well you can do this with a console so why not? Well gamers are already complaing that there is an unfair advantage to first person shooters when using a mouse over a analogue stik, commonly found on Xbox and Sony controllers. I feel with practice these advantages can be minimised or removed completely.
So finally some good news fro the sony camp, or a blind and arrogant attack on console gaming.
Sony Achievements
So turn on my console, all excited about getting stuck into the new game I bought. Been excited all day about this one….. sweet.. Then all of a sudden, I get a phone call from my friend telling me to come round to have a look at his trophy case… a group of trophies he’s won for playing video games and finishing certain tasks…. Well I cant be arsed…. But maybe I should… you see if I don’t see his… he may not come round to see my collection..
Well I cant be arsed…. But maybe I should… you see if I don’t see his… he may not come round to see my collection.. What the hell am I talking about… Well this is in response to Sony’s latest genius initiative.. and there so called trump over the xbox live achievement structure. Instead of a simple gamercard, that you can take or leave… Takes 2 seconds to see what your mates have achieved and the games there playing…… they have opted for a virtual world, second life esc, where you have an apartment instead of a gamercard.
Friends come round to your apartment to look at a group of trophies to see what you have achieved. I will be honest with you, and don’t take this personally lads, I don’t give a shit about what you have achieved…. Well definitely not enough to come round to your pad to look at… If want to massage your ego I will find a strictly homo erotic method..
This environment will almost certainly turn into a sex chat room, just like second life has, but on the downside, I can’t be arsed walking round, interacting with some gamers I don’t know in the street….. chatting to them… I just want my hit!!! A strong hit of good gaming.
Sorry Sony, 10/10 for initiative, 3/10 for practicality. Maybe it will be ok, but I guess the type of gamers who will love this will be the type of gamers I’d probably try to avoid…. So don’t take it the wrong way if I don’t answer my door!
Just waiting
Just waiting for my girlfriend to finish work.
So had quite a busy one on the weekend. Drowning my sorrows in manchester after the Liverpool game.
Started very early. I used to go to uni in manchester so was weired seeing all the old places with new young, scarely young faces.
I always remember being in the 1st year out at the union looking at the 3rd years, thinkin there just too old for the place... Crazy really.
We didn't quite go the union but still round the student areas... And i felt quite old really... Its a joke really im only 25!! .
Oh well still waiting.. Will give her a call now.
See ya.
Who said toilet humor was "Tapoo" ;)
You may have received this by email recently. I got it a week or so ago, however this still has relevance, even today, in the supersonic paced digital world we live in, a week old document can easily be misunderstood, unrelevant, or more likely mocked by the forums boys as NEWB material.
Oh well, being the brave, recently self proclaimed digi journo, I feel I can take these kinds of risks... expecially seen as know one ever reads my words any how, apart from the Joss Stone fans, who helped me get my all time record number of hits in a day.... over 300.... yes I know.... not in the thousands yet.
---------------------------
Anyone experienced any of these?!
Rules of pooing at work
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO isinevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is theSurvival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so thesmell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn'tknow where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop untilthe full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure thesmell has left your pants.
FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in andcheck for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave andcome back again. Be careful not to become a
FREQUENT FLYER. People maybecome suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal orforcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a suddenwave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledgeit.Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter inthe urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It isuncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes bothparties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machinegun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. Ifthis should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyonehas left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what justoccurred.
COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poohits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stinkup the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OFSHAME.WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the doorafter you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you.
As with farts,it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoidedwith the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER -- A colleague who poos at work and is proud ofit. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroomwith a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look aroundthe office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) --
PFN - A group of co-workers who band>together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This>group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet>Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where>you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender . This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your gender>entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the>cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most>shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the>bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a>WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when>used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the>bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.
WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet>water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon>coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud>splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who bandtogether to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The ClosetPooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building whereyou can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of theopposite gender . This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your genderentering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in thecubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the mostshocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo atwork. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglarleaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into thebathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up aWATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars.
Very effective whenused in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TurdBurglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubtthat the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave thebathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toiletwater. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermeloncoming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loudsplashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Tryusing a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as>you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees
Oh well, being the brave, recently self proclaimed digi journo, I feel I can take these kinds of risks... expecially seen as know one ever reads my words any how, apart from the Joss Stone fans, who helped me get my all time record number of hits in a day.... over 300.... yes I know.... not in the thousands yet.
---------------------------
Anyone experienced any of these?!
Rules of pooing at work
As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO isinevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is theSurvival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so thesmell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn'tknow where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop untilthe full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure thesmell has left your pants.
FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in andcheck for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave andcome back again. Be careful not to become a
FREQUENT FLYER. People maybecome suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal orforcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a suddenwave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledgeit.Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter inthe urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It isuncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes bothparties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machinegun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. Ifthis should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyonehas left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what justoccurred.
COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poohits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stinkup the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OFSHAME.WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the doorafter you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you.
As with farts,it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoidedwith the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER -- A colleague who poos at work and is proud ofit. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroomwith a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look aroundthe office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) --
PFN - A group of co-workers who band>together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This>group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet>Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where>you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender . This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your gender>entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the>cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most>shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the>bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a>WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when>used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the>bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.
WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet>water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon>coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud>splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who bandtogether to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The ClosetPooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building whereyou can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of theopposite gender . This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your genderentering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in thecubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the mostshocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo atwork. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglarleaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into thebathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up aWATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars.
Very effective whenused in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TurdBurglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubtthat the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave thebathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toiletwater. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermeloncoming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loudsplashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Tryusing a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as>you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees
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